This episode is perfect for those who cringe at the thought of networking!
We talk about authentic relationship building, how to feel more connected in a disconnected world, and Devin’s key strategies for keeping relationships warm. Hear how he landed on The Real World thanks to networking and learn practical tips you can implement immediately.
From selfless networking to leveraging LinkedIn features, this conversation is packed with actionable advice for expanding your career and impact. Tune in to discover why networking doesn’t have to be dreadful and how it can genuinely change your life.
For many of us, the word networking sparks instant dread. Images of awkward mixers, forced small talk, and business card swaps might come to mind.
But networking doesn’t have to feel cringe-worthy or transactional.
As my recent guest on The Balanced Badass Podcast®, executive and networking expert Devin Lasker, explained, the real secret to networking is simple: focus on building authentic, selfless relationships.
Here’s how to shift your mindset and start connecting in ways that feel natural, impactful, and sustainable.
Rethink What Networking Really Means
If the word networking makes you want to run for cover, try reframing it. At its core, networking is about relationship building.
You already do it without realizing it:
- Checking in with a colleague after a big project.
- Introducing a friend to someone who can help them.
- Reconnecting with a former classmate who pops into your head.
When you strip away the pressure, you see that networking is simply about being human and staying connected.
Keep Your Relationships Warm
One of Devin’s best stories illustrates this beautifully.
Early in his career at Arista Records, he auditioned for MTV’s The Real World on a whim. He didn’t make the show, but he did meet the creators and added them to his company’s mailing list.
Every time Arista released a new record, the creators got a CD with a note: “With my compliments, Devin.”
Years later, they called him out of the blue with an opportunity that ended up putting Arista’s artists, like Pink and Outkast, on national TV.
The lesson? Stay in touch, even in small ways. You don’t need grand gestures; consistent, thoughtful touchpoints keep connections alive until the right opportunity emerges.
Give Without Expecting to Get
Most people approach networking with the mindset: What can this person do for me? That’s backwards.
Instead, flip it: How can I help this person?
- If you see a job posting, share it with a friend.
- If you read an article that reminds you of someone’s interests, send it their way.
- If a colleague is looking for a service and you know a great provider, make the intro with no strings attached.
When you approach networking with generosity, it comes back around.
As Devin put it, quoting The Beatles:
“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”
Silence the Spotlight Effect
One of the biggest barriers to networking is the fear of judgment. We worry about saying the wrong thing or looking foolish.
But research on the Spotlight Effect shows that people notice us far less than we think. That “embarrassing” comment or awkward moment? Most people won’t even remember.
Devin recommends practicing spotlight reversal. Instead of worrying about how you’re being perceived at an event, give yourself a mission: find three people you can help.
Suddenly, the spotlight shifts away from you and onto them.
Start Small with Low-Stakes Conversations
If networking events make you sweat, don’t start there. Build your confidence with low-risk interactions:
- Chat with the cashier at the grocery store.
- Compliment a stranger’s hat.
- Strike up a short conversation with your barista.
These small exchanges train your brain to connect without pressure. Over time, the idea of talking to new people feels less intimidating.
Try the “Bottom of Your Texts” Challenge
Want a quick, practical way to reconnect with your network? Here’s Devin’s go-to exercise:
- Open your phone.
- Scroll to the very bottom of your text messages.
- Pick three people you haven’t talked to in years.
- Send a simple message like: “Hey, you popped into my head. How are you doing?”
It doesn’t have to be complicated. Most people will be glad to hear from you, and you’ll be surprised at how often one message reignites a meaningful relationship.
Networking doesn’t have to feel sleazy, salesy, or cringe. When you approach it as relationship building, lead with generosity, and stay consistent with small gestures, opportunities will come your way.
So the next time you hear the word “networking,” don’t hide under your desk. Think connection. Think generosity. Think balance.
To connect with Devin:
Got thoughts or questions from this week’s episode? Drop them in the comments. I’d love to hear from you! 🫶
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I’m Tara Kermiet — leadership coach, burnout strategist, and host of The Balanced Badass Podcast®. I help high-achievers and corporate leaders design careers that are successful and sustainable.
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