In this episode, Tara talks about building confidence by doing things that scare you. She shares her experience of managing her first professional staff member and explains that confidence comes from taking action, not from feeling ready. Tara highlights the importance of changing negative thoughts, focusing on your strengths, and celebrating small wins. She advises asking for feedback and surrounding yourself with supportive people. The key is to turn fear into a catalyst for growth and to keep moving forward, even when it’s uncomfortable.
You know what’s worse than a bad date? Waiting around for confidence to magically show up like it’s your knight in shining armor. I hate to tell you this, but it ain’t coming.
Confidence doesn’t just appear one day when the stars align, your hair looks perfect, and you’ve suddenly got all the answers. It’s not something you “find.” It’s something you build, piece by gloriously messy piece.
Confidence Isn’t Found, It’s Built
Let me break it down for you. Imagine you’ve just been handed a major project at work. It’s bigger than anything you’ve tackled before, and suddenly, that familiar wave of doubt washes over you. Your mind starts racing with questions like, What if I can’t do this? What if I mess it up?
Here’s where most of us get stuck… we think we need to feel confident before we dive in. But that’s backward. Confidence doesn’t come before the action, it comes after. It’s what you build along the way, through doing the hard thing, the scary thing, over and over until it starts to feel a little less scary.
The Power of Reframing
So, how do you get started when the fear feels overwhelming? It begins with reframing your mindset. Shift your perspective so you can see challenges in a way that empowers you rather than paralyzing you.
Let’s say you’re about to give a big presentation. Your mind is filled with thoughts like, I’m going to bomb this. Everyone will know I’m a fraud. Now, instead of letting those thoughts run wild, try flipping the script.
What if, instead of thinking about everything that could go wrong, you focused on what could go right? This is my chance to showcase my skills. I’m prepared, and I’ve got this.
Research shows that by changing the way we interpret situations, we can actually change our emotional response to them. It’s about taking back control, one thought at a time.
Lean Into Discomfort
Now, I’m going to challenge you to do something uncomfortable this week. Maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting, setting a boundary with a friend, or asking for feedback from someone who intimidates you. Whatever it is, lean into that discomfort. Why? Because that’s where the growth happens.
There’s never going to be a perfect time to do the scary thing. You’re never going to feel 100% ready. But that’s okay.
Confidence is built in the doing, not in the waiting.
And while you’re at it, start celebrating every win, big or small. Keep a journal, a place where you can jot down the things that went well. Maybe it’s something as tiny as responding to a tough email or as big as landing a new client. Write it all down. Why? Because confidence builds with evidence. The more you can look back and see, I did that, the more your brain starts to believe, Yes, I can.
Who’s in Your Corner?
Finally, take a good look at the people you surround yourself with. Are they lifting you up, or are they dragging you down? The company you keep can either bolster your confidence or erode it. Find those people who believe in you, who will push you to be your best, even when you’re not feeling it yourself.
I’ve learned this firsthand. When I was figuring out how to navigate my first management role, I found a few key people who had been there before. They weren’t afraid to share their stories, their mistakes, and their wins. They became my sounding board, my reality check, and my inspiration. That support made all the difference.
Time to Take a Step
Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Stop waiting to feel ready. Pick one thing you’ve been putting off and do it. Today. Not tomorrow, not next week… today. Take a step, however small, and just start.
And when you do, celebrate it. Write it down, share it with someone who gets it, and give yourself credit for taking action. Because every step, every small win, every moment of courage, it all adds up. That’s how you build real, unshakeable confidence.
So, are you in? Let’s stop waiting and start doing.
Got thoughts or questions from this week’s episode? Drop them in the comments. I’d love to hear from you! 🫶
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00:00 Introduction: Facing Your Fears
00:28 Understanding Real Confidence
01:05 My First Big Challenge
02:20 Overcoming Self-Doubt
03:56 The Power of Reframing
05:49 Practical Steps to Build Confidence
07:14 Seeking Feedback and Growth
12:50 The Importance of Support Systems
15:08 Conclusion: Embrace the Journey
I’m Tara Kermiet, a personal growth coach specializing in burnout prevention and work-life integration. I help busy multitaskers simplify their schedules, set boundaries, and build habits that create the breathing room they need to stay balanced and badass.
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Resources
Foa, E. B., & Kozak, M. J. (1986). Emotional processing of fear: Exposure to corrective information. Psychological Bulletin, 99(1), 20–35.
Seligman, M. E. P., & Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2000). Positive psychology: An introduction. American Psychologist, 55(1), 5–14.
Troy, A. S., Shallcross, A. J., Brunner, A., Friedman, R., & Jones, M. C. (2018). Cognitive reappraisal and acceptance: Effects on emotion, physiology, and perceived cognitive costs. Emotion, 18(1), 58–74.
