Tara discusses how most people either don’t set goals or fail at them because they’re uninspiring and based on external expectations. She encourages listeners to toss out these ‘should’ goals and instead find goals that truly excite them. Tara provides practical steps for identifying what genuinely matters to you, breaking down goals into small actions, and continually reassessing to stay aligned with your true desires. It’s all about finding goals that make you jump out of bed in the morning.
If your reason for doing something is weak, that goal’s going to fall apart the second life throws you a curveball. And life loves to throw curveballs. Your kid gets sick, work deadlines pile up, or you’re just too damn tired.
Suddenly, that goal you set with the best intentions crumbles like a cookie. Why? Because you didn’t have a strong enough reason to keep going when things got tough.
Maybe you set a goal to start working out because, well, everyone on social media is doing it. Or you decided to chase a promotion because your family expects you to move up the corporate ladder.
But when the inevitable challenges show up—like feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or just plain unmotivated—those goals start looking like quicksand. They’re easy to sink into and harder to crawl out of.
I’ve been there. Hell, we’ve all been there. Setting goals that sound good on paper but feel like a massive burden in real life. You start with the best of intentions, then slowly but surely, it fizzles out.
And what’s left? A pile of unmet expectations and a whole lot of frustration.
A Story About a Flimsy Goal
A few years back, I had this grand plan to train for a 10K. I thought it sounded impressive and would keep me motivated to work out. But honestly? I didn’t really care about running. I just liked the idea of being a “runner.”
So, when the weather got cold, or I was tired, or I just didn’t feel like it, it was too easy to skip training. My why wasn’t strong enough to make me lace up those sneakers and hit the pavement.
And guess what? I never ran that 10K. Shocking, I know.
That’s what happens when your why is weak. You hit a roadblock and decide the goal isn’t worth it. You tell yourself you’re too busy, or it’s not the right time, or you’ll try again later. And then you feel crappy for not following through.
Find Your Real Why
The key to setting goals that last and that make you want to jump out of bed? You need a reason that’s bulletproof—a reason that makes you push through when everything around you is screaming “just quit already.”
And that reason can’t be about what someone else wants or expects from you. It has to be something you care about at a gut level.
So, how do you find that kind of “why”? Here’s the process I use:
- Start with the surface answer, then dig deeper. Ask yourself, “Why do I want this?” If your answer is “because I should” or “because it looks good,” that’s not good enough. Keep digging. Keep asking “why” until you hit something that gives you chills or makes you feel a little emotional. That’s when you’ve found it.
- Make it personal. Your “why” has to resonate with who you are. Forget what your boss, partner, or society expects from you. This is about what lights you up. Your reason for pursuing a goal should be so personal that it feels like you’re betraying yourself if you don’t go after it.
- Think long-term. Your “why” needs to go beyond the short-term win. It’s easy to be motivated when everything’s new and shiny. But what happens when that wears off? Your reason needs to carry you through the long-term grind, even when progress feels slow or non-existent.
What Happens When You Find Your Why
Once you’ve nailed down your real reason for pursuing a goal, everything changes. Suddenly, your goals feel less like obligations and more like choices—things you want to do, not things you have to do.
Instead of dragging yourself out of bed, you’ll wake up with purpose. Instead of feeling like you’re just going through the motions, you’ll be driven by something that excites you.
And the best part? When life gets messy (because, let’s be real, it will), your goals won’t fall apart. You’ll know exactly why you’re fighting for them, and that’ll keep you going.
Find Your Why and Make It Stick
Here’s what I want you to do right now… think of a goal you’ve set for yourself. Got it? Good.
Now, write down why you want to achieve it. Then ask yourself why that matters to you. Keep digging until you find a reason that gives you chills or makes you feel a little emotional. That’s your real why.
Still not sure if your why is strong enough? Share it in the comments below, and let’s figure it out together. Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to really hone in on what drives you.
Remember, your goals should make you want to jump out of bed every morning. And if they don’t, it’s time to find new ones that do.
Got thoughts or questions from this week’s episode? Drop them in the comments. I’d love to hear from you! 🫶
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00:00 Introduction: The Shocking Truth About Goal Setting
00:11 Why Most Goals Fail
01:15 Finding What Truly Excites You
03:49 Ditching the ‘Should’ Goals
06:50 Creating Goals That Excite You
12:05 The Power of Small Steps
16:06 Adjusting and Evolving Your Goals
18:20 Redefining Success on Your Terms
20:05 Final Action Step and Conclusion
👋 Hey, I’m Tara Kermiet, a personal growth coach specializing in burnout prevention and work-life integration. I’m also a wife, dog mom to 5, and Leslie Knope wannabe.
I help busy multitaskers simplify their schedules, set boundaries, and build habits that create the breathing room they need to stay balanced and badass.
In this free mini-course, 7 Days to Crushing Your Goals, you’ll transform from feeling stuck and clueless to having a rock-solid plan that makes your goals crystal clear and totally achievable. Grab it while it’s free!
☕ If you enjoyed this episode and want to help me keep creating more content like this, you can now buy me a coffee! (Coffee is my love language, after all.)
